Nightmares
by hawthorners
Summary: What would it feel like to have your nightmare come alive? One shot.


Nightmares

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What would it feel like to have your nightmare come alive?

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_ I wake with a start, and Ian's already out the door, I quickly follow. What everyone's been dreading has finally caught up to us. The Seekers. They run down the tunnels in our cave, shooting people at random. We were rebels, after all. Most likely defective hosts. Except me, I'm a soul. A traitor. If they caught me, I don't know what they would do with me. Ship me off to another world, I guess. We all sprint to an exit. I try to catch up with Ian, silently cursing this weak body, he has to slow down for me to run with him. I glance at Melanie running the opposite way with Jared and Jamie. Confusion washes through me. And then my blood turns to ice._

_ I know the voice better than I know my own. Even though the breaths in my ear and the shouts around me are so loud, I can hear his scream. I can picture him slumping down to the cave floor, crimson staining his shirt so dangerously close to his heart. I whip around to confirm my thoughts, Ian lying what looks like miles away, blood drained from his face. Confusion washes over me. Why would my Ian be dead? He promised we would have forever, why would he break his promise? I rush towards the body that is my love and lie down next to him, sobbing uncontrolably, and close my eyes._

_ "Wanda," Melanie chokes out, "we have to keep going. He'd want you to keep going." I see no motivation to open my eyes if Ian's blue ones aren't looking back into mine. I reach for his hand that's cold, so cold. Why would it be cold if we're in the middle of the desert?_

_ Melanie won't leave, I know that. "Go. For Jared and Jamie. Go," I find the strength inside me to tell her to go for them, and that she can not refuse._

_ Somehow, she understands. She knows. "Wanderer, my sister. Thank you." She would be doing the same if it was Jared. She would tell me to leave. Wouldn't she? I keep my eyes closed and nod. Sharing the same body for a year gave us a close bond. She knew I felt the same. Seekers are coming. They do not stop at me next to Ian's lifeless body, they go for the others I love._

_ I mourned as I did when I found them removing souls from hosts. I close my eyes and do not let my thoughts stray from him. The way he said my name, "Wanderer," each sound rolling off of his toungue so naturally. How beautiful his eyes were, snow, saphire, and ink, coming together to make what is Ian's eyes. His lips pressed gently to mine, moving molten rock through me. A sob breaks through my chest, loud enough to tear apart my throat. I curl up next to Ian and put my head to his chest, remembering his heart beats. I know I'm saying his name, over and over, but I do not feel it. I don't feel anything. As my world comes crashing down, I only say his name. I only think of him._

_ Seekers come towards me, they say reassuring words. "Everything will be okay. It will be okay, we'll get you out of here. You'll like it on the Singing World." I don't hear them. I don't hear anything. I know I've been crying because my face is wet with tears and blood from Ian's shirt. Part of me wants to go, at least I could have been with Melanie and Jamie. The other part knows, I can not continue to live on this world without him, my anchor. It won't be okay. It will never be okay._

_ Someone's calling my name, but I don't recognize the voice. I hardly even hear it over my constant moans of "no". The Seekers are shaking me, trying to get me to stand up._

_ "Get off of me! You took him away from me! It'll never be okay again! Never!" The words scrape my throat but I scream anyway. "No! Ian's dead, he's gone! You took him! You took him away! Monsters!" I scream what I screamed the night I found Jeb removing souls from hosts, because these Seekers truly are monsters. They took him awaw from me, they took him away._

_ "Wanda, you're hurting yourself." I shake my head in disbelief. A voice recahes my ears that I thought I would never hear again. "Wanda, Wanderer, wake up." Wake up? I wasn't sleeping. "Honey, wake up." Ian shakes me harder. Is it Ian? It can't be, he's dead. Dead. But I know those hands, I know the way the hold onto my shoulders, afraid that one touch will break me._

"Ian," I moan his name, and open my eyes. For a moment, I can't see anything but drakness. When my eyes adjust, I see the silohette of Ian. My Ian, alive. "Ian," I moan again, louder. My voice cracks.

"I woke to your screams, and- and I thought something was wrong. Wanderer, what happened? Were you dreaming?"

"I wasn't dreaming, it was real and you were dead, they shot you, the Seekers, they killed you," my voice catches. I'm shaking, uncontrollably.

"Wanda, I'm alive, it wasn't real, honey, it was a dream. A nightmare." He holds me against his chest, and rocks me back and forth. "It was a dream, it's okay now. I'm here, it's okay." I breathe audibly, and the tears keep coming.

When I've settled down enough to talk, he picks me up and sets me next to him. Ian takes my chin and makes me reach his eyes.

"What happened, Wanda?" Ian's concerned eyes stay locked on mine.

"I- I heard you scream, and I pictured you crumle to the ground. The Seekers were after us. It was so vivid, I thought it was real. I turned around and there you were, lifeless on the floor," I gulp for air, I thought my worst nightmare had come alive.

"And then?" Ian pushes further. I remember Pet's mother doing this, she said it helped to talk about it.

"And at first I didn't think it was real. Because the thought of being with you forever was burned into my mind, so I lied down next to you, and closed my eyes. Melanie came to me, but I told her to leave. Because I wanted to be there, with you. She left because she still had Jamie and Jared. And I lied there, never wanting to move." I whipered my dream to him. Another sob racks through me, "I felt your blood on my face, mixed with my tears, I felt it." Ian brushes my messy golden curls behind my ear. "I thought the Seekers were going to take me- take me away from you, and they talked to me. At first it wasn't real, they were going to send me off to the Singing World, but then it was you who was talking and I thought it was the Seekers. They said I was hurting myself, and I wanted to, I wanted to die with you, but it was your voice and your hands and it wasn't real, just a dream." Quiet. Blush raced to my cheeks. I was embarrased, the nightmare now seemed so childish.

"I see it too," Ian whispered in my ear. "I have the same nightmare, except you're the one who's lying on the floor." My eyes found his. Guilt washes over me. I don't wake him from them as he does for me. I let his nightmare continue. "I heard you saying no, and telling me to get off of you." I don't linger at the thought of what that must've done to him. His nightmare almost came true, once. When I was giving Melanie back. His nightmare almost came true. Guilt finds its way back into me, again."I'm so sorry, Wanderer. I'm sorry that's it's like this. I'm sorry." Why is he apologizing? I took this world from him. I bury my face in his chest, smelling him. He is the only thing keeping me alive, he is the air I breathe and water I drink. Without him, I would die.

"I love you," I choke out through my tears. He murmurs a response through my hair and kisses my forhead, my eyelids, and my lips. I pull away, because I know me falling asleep like this will keep him up and that isn't fair to him, but his arms just get tighter. "Ian, you have to sleep, too," He sighs. I let him lay down and move to sleep beside him, but Ian wraps his arms around me and pulls me next to him. I roll over to see his face, they're still contorted with pain.

"What?" I eagerly ask. My eyes search his for answers.

"I don't ever want to lose you. I couldn't bear it. Wanda, I can't lose you." His low whipser reaches my ears. I close the few centimeters between us with my lips, his arms push me closer.

"Then we won't let that happen," I say fiercely, we can't lose each other, not now. Not when everything has come into place as perfectly as it can in this world. My Ian, with me, together.

This is my first one-shot for The Host, I hope you liked it. Please review, it really helps to know what I should improve on and if you enjoyed it and so on.


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